Posts (page 2)

I have this condition where I badly need to toe my circadian rhythm. Also, grateful I am for the very concern and caring mother I have. I have to lessen her worries. I have to make sure I don't disrupt my biological clock. However, being the rebelious person I am, or more of a rock-headed person I am, I tend to break that rule and stay up late once every week. I wish and wish and hope that I was normal but it came to my senses that I am normal. I should be sleeping at 11 at night and waking up at 6 in the morning. Eight hours of good sleep after a whole day of crunching numbers and facing the computer screen.

So that will do.

I have always wanted to make a difference and commit myself, be passionate, see things differently, gain tons of experience, have a positive outlook in life, know there's more to life than it being about yourself. This moment onwards, I am going to see that I commit to these people who need help. I'm gonna take a day in a week to reach out and give whatever I can to help them. InshaAllah.

The distance was created for a reason.
We dont' share the same happiness.
It was you. Only you.

I have dreams.
They're not for me, my dreams, they are meant for others. For those who are less fortunate. For those who were never given a chance.

I feel a sudden need to be enigmatic.
Mind read me if you can. Otherwise, forgive me.

It has been so long since I posted anything on Vox. My life is just lacking of things to update about. There were few occasions where I had my friends over for a barbeque, laksa and board game sessions. Good times, but I wish I actually had some digital memories to share. I need to cultivate the photo-snapping habit.

Other than that, I have been busy with my internship. It ended two weeks ago and last Friday, my boss decided to extended my attachment. I was more than happy to continue. I wasn't ready to leave in the first place.

Towards the end of my internship, I got closer to my supervisors and my colleagues. They are really nice people, always with a smiley face, always ready to answer my questions. I felt that I didn't fully utilize the opportunity that was given to me. That I had wasted much time, reading the internet rather than being out there grabbing every chance I get to learn from actuaries and experienced analyst. On my last day, I regretted every bit. Although from my previous posts, I have written how much I have learnt in Mercer, about seeing both aspects of the line of work of an actuary, that is bearly the surface of many, many other things that I could learn.

Anyway, today was my first day back in Mercer. I have the best cubicle I could ask for, by the window, with the KLCC view. It was good to see everyone again. =).

When is the last time you stayed up all night?

Last saturday night. My friends came over for a round of board game called "Betrayal at the House on the Hill". We stayed up till four in the morning.

What's your best tax tip?

Bring all your friends book shopping and get all their receipts.

What's the last compliment you gave and/or received?
Submitted by MalieKai.

Someone told me I walk fast and I am, to say, intelligent enough.

I always anticipate attending wedding ceremonies. Big or small, simple or sophisticated, I love weddings. I believe it's the atmosphere at the wedding, the glow on the faces of the bride and groom, the delighted parents, siblings and relatives.

My colleague got married today. She looked beautiful wearing a bright, turquoise dress. She waved at us instantly when she saw us. She had a big smile on her glowing face, sitting comfortably next to her groom.

She is Kak Siti in a wedding dress.

You know how sometimes, the bride and groom would stay quiet and let everyone else do the talking of how they met, what they find appealing about each other and such, it wasn't like that with her.
She went around talking to people, warmly welcoming their presence with her bubbly self.

It was a good wedding, I left with a good and happy feeling.

Today, nothing beats a meaningful thank you and a genuine smile.

The phone rang eight times today. It was father, calling from Dhaka. It shows how thrilled he was about Swoosh the Ainul’s SPM results. Should I state the obvious or just let everyone do their guessing? I’ll leave it to your guesses. I am tweedle-dee-dum, happy for her. I had not one second of doubt that she couldn’t have made it. She is after all, my sister. I have lived with her long enough to notice how much time she spends time dating books. Also I have had long hours listening to her fret about how smart and brilliant her schoolmates are. The amount of pressure she is under is incomparable to what could have been if she stayed in Subang under the loving arms of my mother, who pampers Swoosh the Ainul more than any of her daughters. She rambled and she ranted. She struggled to stay on par with everyone else. She’s competitive. That is what being an athlete does to you, I suppose. It makes you a natural competitor; always strive harder and harder to make sure a win. Our father always tells us these precise words,”As you get to the finishing line, run faster, stride harder and remember to tilt forward. Confidence.” Tilting forward counts so much in a short race, the millisecond defines the winner.

She carved her future the way my parents wanted her.

Not me.

I chose to lead life differently, taking a whole load of risks along the way. Challenge motivates me. The road I took was not an easy one. I knew about the road not taken, it could have been an easier one. But it would not have made me the person I am today.

Father surprised me today in his last phone call (of the day, he calls infinite times a day sometimes). We spoke and he said, “Honey, you are excellent. But you have not reached your zenith.” I know I haven’t. I know I haven’t studied enough until I feel like puking at the sight of my text book. I know I haven’t studied enough that I should embrace the working life as my new normal. I know. I know.

It’s a sign. I should consider shooting for the moon. The next six months will be a whole new environment. It should be the time I aim the highest. I am probing to discover my true potential, aren’t you?

I have been so absent. I need to make time for friends.

I have alot of catching up to do. Especially with my MAs. I need to spill something which I have been keeping for quite some time now. It's nothing big, but I just feel like it's time for me to do so. I always thought the feeling would subside, but it doesn't. I realized a change in myself - I'm not so numb, I care nowadays. That life-changing point of my life, triggered my senses, woke me up from complacency and told me to think.

Think about my flaws.

I have responsibilities which I never had before. In the absence of my father(he's working overseas), my elder sister and I share his role. We have to be responsible for almost everything. My younger sisters are our responsibility. We need to take them to places, bring them here and there. Every week, I would take turns with my elder sister to drive Ainul back to her college, half an hour(at 140kmh) away from town. My youngest sister has developed to be more independent but still is an irresponsible brat(for her age, I guess is tolerable).

Time for leisure is a luxury. I still have time to spare, but not so much when the sun goes down.

I adjusted. A little understanding is all I need.

What's the best way to get on your good side?
Submitted by Manon-It-All.

Speak my language and we can rock the world together.